If you knew I was dying, would it change you?

Hello. Chris Tucker here with another edition of "let's bore people with mindless details about shows they don't care about and then throw in random little info and thoughts at the end of the blog to try and make it semi-interesting." Go! :]

I went to this festival like show on April 19 called LU-palooza with Rachel and Heather and a bunch of kids with names I can't remember. We went to Denny's beforehand and I ate pancakes awkwardly. Anyways, the gig was at Lindenwood University, hence the LU. A lot of local bands opened. Not much to say for them. Steve Ewing, formerly of the Urge played a set. He's black. I did not know that till that day. The major bands that played were Treaty Of Paris, Eleventyseven, Punchline, and Secondhand Serenade. Treaty were cool, and I got to hang out with them a little being as how everyone I was with are either superfans or friends with the guys. We went to Taco Bell/Pizza Hut right before their set and ran into some kids going to prom, one of whom I'd known since gradeschool. Weird.

Eleventyseven played next. I never have liked them much, save a song or two, but for Ryne, April, and Kelly's sake, I watched them. They were fun and funny as I expected they would be. But I would never listen to them otherwise. Sorry guys. I still went ahead and introduced myself to Matt Langston after because I figure I'll be seeing a lot of him in the future. I caught the end of Punchline's set, waiting till I heard the opening of "Flashlight" to make my way back to the stage. They sounded as good as ever, and were probably my favorite of all the bands that played that day. I hardly watched Secondhand Serenade because they are a bad version of Dashboard Confessional. I missed the New Pornographers' set at the Pageant that night, which was a shame, but I'm sure they'll be back soon enough, hopefully with Neko in tow.

Wednesday was the AP Tour. I got there only a short time before doors and a sizable line had already formed, but I got in front. Rachel's took the ACT that day, and got off school early and secured a spot. So. I got up front. Strangely, everyone I knew was all in close proximity to me, so I felt very accepted and cool. Haha. My friend Sarah from Alton gave me a monkey. I was grateful. Okay, so we got in, and got a good spot. Shortly thereafter, Forever The Sickest Kids began sucking. Okay, so they weren't unbearable, but they're nothing special. Sonny Moore formerly of From First To Last, was next on the bill. He was playing his stuff more toned down, but it was a nice break from the uber hyper FTSK. And he seemed sincere, so I respected the guy. The most stylish band in rock, the Matches, were next. They sounded good, and were entertaining. My favorite, The Rocket Summer played fourth. I had made my way to second row, and maintained pretty good eye contact with Bryce throughout the show. He played a short set, and wasn't feeling good, but it was a lot of fun. I decided to stay in the pit for All Time Low. That band is too generic to even hate. But they're young, energetic, charismatic, and fun.

I finally caught up with Hope after the show and we walked around, eventually meeting Sonny Moore, Shawn Harris of the Matches, and ATL's Alex Gaskarth. I never did see Bryce walking around, but I was actually okay with it. It was warm enough to put down the top on the mustang, but nothing doing. Friday and Saturday is Agape Festival, where I'll be seeing my friends Emily, Victoria, Ryne, April, and Kelly. A lot of bad bands are playing, but Relient K is playing, so nothing else really matters. Sunday I'll have the pleasure of seeing Tegan and Sara, the infamous lesbian twin sister duo. That sounds redundant. Whatever. They're fantastic.

I'm just going to mention now that the title of this blog comes from a line in the song at the end of this blog. I listened to it last night and got waves of chills. It was very strange and surreal. You should listen to it for sure. I had a dream that I was riding around Missouri in a car with some kids I know, and the driver had8 beers. This morning we had an assembly about driving drunk. And drunk driving was the subject of an episode of the Simpsons tonight. Spooky. Only not really.

"There's someone out there for everyone." That's really been evident for me lately. It's almost heartwarming to see some kids who would typically be considered nerds managing to get friends, and even going on dates. I'm just happy they didn't just resign to what could have been a miserable high school experience. They went out and made a little joy in their lives and consequently, mine as well. Much like the cat who just walked across my porch. Twice. It's orange and it makes me smile. The Moon In My Basement (myspace.com/themooninmybasement)has shows coming up. One at The Red Sea, one at Cicero's, and one at The Creepy Crawl. So hooray for that I guess. I'm a little worried about it, because I'm my own worst critic and an elitist to boot, so I kind of demand perfection from myself, but regardless, it shouldn't be too bad.

One last pretty cool note, I got to ride on a Sherman tank from WWII the other day. It was on a field trip to Jefferson Barracks Cemetery to meet up with some WWII reinactors. My group was the first group to ride on the tank, and then the guy was told he wasn't supposed to give us rides. So, needless to say, we felt pretty great the rest of the trip. It feels so great riding on top of a huge tank and watching your classmates look on enviously as you salute them. Haha. This will be a story I will tell my children, and I think that is neat. Till next time.

Christopher Michael Tucker

At least I author my own disaster.

Goodness. So it took pretty much one day to think about how silly and trite the last blog was. And then I was told I couldn't go see Eisley tomorrow. I just went in my room, put on my headphones, and picked up Perks. The blog didn't seem as stupid anymore. Ah, the wonders of being an emotional teenager. I just really want to be completely self sustaining and control my own life. I'm so close, but I feel like I'm never going to get there, which is completely normal, or so I'm told. At the moment, I just want to be alone, so I can listen to Of Montreal's "The Past Is A Grotesque Animal" and yell it out. I think then I would feel better.

On the positive side of things, I got The Moon In My Basement an acoustic show at the Red Sea in May. It's only going to be a thirty minute set, and it's just a benefit show, but it's a good start. A lot of really fantastic local bands are playing. Now I just need to learn a few songs, since it looks like I'll be singing,
and we'll be set. I should be selling tickets soon. Or if you don't live around here, moral support is always appreciated.

Christopher Michael Tucker.

Road to joy.

Well, I can honestly say this was one of the best birthday's I've had. The party Friday went better than I ever could have imagined. The number of people there never reached 30, and I was totally okay with that. At one point, there were 24, double what Hope's mom had said we could have, yet she was totally fine, and even seemed to be enjoying herself a little bit.

Corey Goodman, alias Superfun Yeah Yeah Rocketship, showed up a little after 7 and started setting up. After changing into his Superfun clothes and confirming it would be okay to swear, he began to dominate. He is the world champion of rock after all. He has the title belt to prove it. He pranced around the basement for about an hour, touching everything and everyone. He brushed his hair with a cat brush. He put a soda in a barbie car and drove it around. He pushed around a vacuum. He threw away a shoe. It was great. Most everyone left a little after he played, for various reasons. Everyone was out a little after 12.

Yesterday I went to my grandma and grandpa's for the first part of the day. Then I had my birthday dinner with my dad. We went to Ponderosa, and they undercooked my steak. I hung out with Kyle, Tom, Kelly, Shelby, and Kevin Farrar. For those of you who don't know, the town I live in is right by the main St. Louis airport, Lambert. A few years ago, the airport decided it was time to expand, and kicked thousands of people out of their homes. The airport still hasn't really utilized much of the land, and many of the houses still stand. Some pictures of what they look like now can be found at http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=bridgeton+missouri+abandoned
That will help you get a better idea of what it's like around here. Anyways, we explored houses for awhile, with Kyle, Shelby, and I being the first to grow tired of it. We went back to the car and eventually drove to where the other 3 were, and left. Later, at Kyle's, his mom bit me because I smelled so good, and then I discovered I suck at wii boxing. I came home at 11, and read the first 40 pages of The Perks of Being A Wallflower.

For the last five years or so, I've been unable to cry, even when I want to, very, very badly. Last night, for the second time in recent memory, I had a dream where I cried. This is the second time this has happened, and the only explanation I can think of is that dreams are often tools for us to fulfill our innermost wishes. I was reading my book in the car before church today, and I felt like I was going to cry real, tangible tears, but nothing happened. I was very sad.

This afternoon I went to the Cardinals game, which we won, 3-0. I got to reminisce with my cousin Andrew and our friend Nathan. I also asked my friend Heather, who is the one letting me borrow Perks to come as well, since we had an extra ticket. I had a good time making jokes and being strange, and Heather told me I would make some woman very happy one day, and I hoped she was right. I was home around 5 and I took the next two hours to finish reading the book, which was very good and very sad.

The back of the book jacket reads, "Standing on the fringes of like offers a unique perspective, but there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor." This book makes me want to push aside my inhabitions and go after what I really want. But life is not a book, and it would probably end in failure and alienation. Why yes, I am a coward. I know in the future, I will look back at these writings and think about what a stupid little emo kid I was, but I don't care. This is a snapshot of my life, and I'm going to remember it how it exactly how it was. I am trying to be happier.

Christopher Michael Tucker.

Date of birth.

Yeah, today's my birthday. It started pretty lame last night, when I had to leave the Casiotone show before Owen even played a song. I ended up staying up till like two listening to Paul Baribeau and CFTPA. Today wasn't that great either, minus a little trampoline time after school. But it's just like any other day, minus the fact that I was born on it. And not even recently! 17 years ago! So, psh, who cares. Yep, nothing phases me.

TV guide was published for the first time on my birthday in 1953. The first cell phone call took place in New York City on April 3, 1973. On my fifth birthday, unabomber Ted Kaczynski was arrested. This took place on my birthday in 1968, and I'm proud of it.

These were prophetic words, as he was tragically killed the next day.

I share a birthday with Marlon Brando. Wayne Newton was born this day in 1942. Also born on this date, Alec Baldwin, David Hyde Pierce, and Eddie Murphy. Drew Shirley of Switchfoot turns 32 today.

Tonight's gonna be thrilling. Dinner at the Olive Garden and a thrilling two hours of Lost. What could be better? Oh wait. I know. Tomorrow night. There could be a little tension, considering there's a limit of 12 people who can be at the party, and about 30 are planning to show up. But hey, we'll burn that bridge when we come to it. See ya.

Christopher Michael Tucker.

Why do they call it PMS?

Because mad cow disease was already taken. The kids at my school sure tell swell jokes. Okay, so maybe that was an awful way to start a blog. So what.

Today would be my birthday if only I had been born 22 minutes earlier. But alas, I will never know the joy of sharing a birthday with Yung Joc. What a shame. Tomorrow morning, at 12:21 AM, I'll turn 17 with Casiotone For The Painfully Alone, also known as Owen Ashworth.



He looks like a pizza guy. I love it. Today was a rather uneventful day. This blog is finished.

Christopher Michael Tucker.

Mediocrity is the killer.

Well it seems Ryne Hambright was correct. The Secret Handshake did have to drop off the rest of their tour because of van trouble. Due to that, and the fact that my mom apparently wasn't going to let me go anyway, it looks like I'll be home tonight.

People really went all out this April Fools'. Seriously, on average, trips between classes, I'd hear a good 3 to 4 kids trying to pull AF jokes. And not good ones either. For instance, the one taco bell pulled in 1996. The restaurant took out a full page ad in the New York Times, claiming they had bought the Liberty Bell and renamed it the "Taco Liberty Bell" in order to reduce the nation's debt.



Last night, the new Death Cab For Cutie album was leaked onto the internet. Or so it seemed. In actuality, there was only one DCFC song on the leaked copy, the single "I Will Possess Your Heart." The rest were songs by German band Velveteen, who sounds a bit similar to Death Cab. Probably my favorite April Fools' Day prank I've heard about in a long time. If I would've checked for a leak last night, I'd sure be feeling salty now. Luckily, I've made it through the day with my dignity in tact.

I actually thought about making this blog into a big essay like I was coming out of the closet. But then I decided it would be really obvious, and stupid, and plus I didn't want to write a bunch. So. Yeah.

I'd kill to be in Columbia tonight. Chiodos is playing there with MxPx, The Color Fred, and Protest The Hero, at the Blue Note, where I went to see Relient K on March 11. I guess I'll have to settle for eating Arby's and watching the Simpsons tonight. The way I see it, that's not too bad of a deal. I'm gonna see if I can't keep up with this blog daily. And I'm gonna do my best to keep it interesting, adding in trivia, anecdotes, jokes or whatever may seem interesting when I'm writing. Feel free to check back daily, that is, if you actually enjoy reading this drivel. Later.

Christopher Michael Tucker.