It's funny.

Had a lousy day and thought about writing something. It's been a long, long time. I've been feeling less than inspired lately, and today was especially sad. I won't bore you with the details, but I decided it was best to just channel it, preferably somewhere where few were likely to see it. The last thing the internet needs is another sad sap complaining to his all his equally self-pitying friends. Anyway, after finally figuring out the email/password combo I used for this blog, I started to read through some of my old posts. Ok, all my old posts. So many were so embarrassingly depressing. And really, that's not all that surprising, as much of a roller coaster the adolescent years are. But how ironic, I thought, "Here I am wanting to write again, again, desperately sad." As many times as I try to deny the correlation between sadness and creativity, experience proves me wrong. Not to say that's exclusive. There's plenty of brilliant art created by happy, stable people. But there's a certain undefinable quality to the work of the tortured artist. Not that I'm calling myself one by any means. I'm hardly an artist and my life is much better than I let myself believe most days. Just a thought, I suppose. I guess more than anything, personally, my drive to write in times like these has less to do with the melancholy sparking my creative drive, and more to do with the sheer absence of a friend to lend an ear. But the blank page, ah, it will always be here. Never judging. Only listening. And sometimes that's all that's needed.

Cruel To Be So Young

I know it's been forever, but here I am blogging once more. I just felt the urge, probably because I feel things caving in a bit around me, and when that happens, I write. College is coming up. Impending doom, it feels like. It's only community college, but the cost is probably going to leave some debt. I got a 29 on my ACT the first time. Tried to take it again, with some studying, to aim for something in the 30's, but my score just dropped a couple points. Probably just stressed myself out too much, honestly. Should be starting to train for my job at the Bridgeton pool concession stand. Need the money. Should save the money. I actually need to call the manager up there right now, to set up my schedule, but a weird social apprehension is coming over me, so I just sit here. I am an 18 year old, job-less, car-less, license-less, scared boy. I put on a good front, but this is what's going on inside me. I really need to gain some independence. Having my license would probably help, but I'm terrified. I will wreck, and I know it, and odds are, someone I care about will be in the car with me. So we'll be hurt, my mom and I will be without a car. I wonder how long my dad's will keep running sometimes. If it quits, he's back to walking and riding public transportation. Not good at all for his frail feet, and body in general. He's been getting repeatedly cancelled at work, and I feel like his job is less than secure. He's lonely and for the most part without friends. I constantly feel the pressure to go over there, but it's an hour away and a good distance from my friends. I'm torn. These days, I never want down time, and I think as I write this, I'm realizing why. When I stop and think about all that goes wrong and has the potential to go wrong, I scare myself to death. I just feel like I'm constantly on the defensive. And all that defense amounts to is hiding, whether it be in sleep, out with friends, whatever. It's all about constant distraction for me right now. All I can do is delay the inevitable. I am just self-pitying. And now I post this and expect pity from all of you. Stupid. But I guess I need it. Weird. This is a stupid post.

Christopher Michael Tucker

I don't want to say "I told you so," but...

Blink-182 is back.
They're going to make music again.
Tour? I certainly hope so.
Good God.
I am pumped.
Absolutepunk.net just crashed.
Katy Perry is performing now.
She is attractive.
Don't care right now.
Blink-182 is back.
Yessssssssssssssssss.

-Christopher Michael Tucker

THE BEST OF 2008.

In a way, I hope you've all been waiting for this. And in a way, I hope very few of you have, considering how long it took me to finalize some of these decisions. But without further ado, here you go. The best albums of the year 2008.

Biased pick: Relient K- "The Nashville Tennis EP"

After being a little disappointed with the band's tendency to lean towards a poppier sound on the last record, I was happy to hear these 13 new songs, which hearkened back to the sound of their previous ventures: rock, rock, rock, and a little bit of (TASTEFUL) pop. And humor! Check out my favorite track, "Where Do I Go From Here."

18. Anthony Green- "Avalon"

Green's solo project is nothing like Circa Survive. The writing is simple. The music is simple. And I'm okay with that. I could have used more songs like "She Loves Me So" and "Dear Child (I've Been Dying To Reach You)," but the positives far outweigh the negatives here. Listen to one of my favorite tracks of the year, "She Loves Me So."

17. The Black Keys- "Attack & Release"

I'm not from the (dirty dirty) south, but I'd have to be dead not to recognize the brilliant southern rock tinged riffs and soulful tones on this record. Quite possibly the band's best record to date. Check out "I've Got Mine."

16. My Morning Jacket- "Evil Urges"

This band got a lot of good press this year, and it's no wonder why. This record is crazy good. It's really a step in a different (and sometimes weird) direction for Jim James and company, but I dig it a lot. Check out the 8 minute Turing machine, "Touch Me, I'm Going To Scream, Part 2."

15. Conor Oberst- "Conor Oberst"

Contrary to popular belief, this is not "basically a new Bright Eyes record." Conor, along with the Mystic Valley Band, pursues a much more folky direction, showcasing a sound that would feel out of place under the typical Oberst moniker. Listen to my favorite track, "Moab."

14. Tom Gabel- "Heart Burns"

I like Against Me, so it's really a no brainer that I would like this record, considering the 8 tracks would not seem out of place on a future AM! album. There's no real focused theme on this record, but it's still a solid release. Listen to "Amputations" featuring Alkaline Trio's Matt Skiba.

13. Flight Of The Conchords- "Flight Of The Conchords"

The third most popular folk parody duo in New Zealand put out their first full length in 2008. It features songs from the band's show on HBO along with a few new tunes. As expected, it's hilarious. Listen to the less than seductive "Business Time."

12. MGMT- "Oracular Spectacular"

This is probably the most overrated record of 2008. That's not to say it isn't good, though. I saw these guys open for Of Montreal in late 2007, and something struck a chord with me. Then they released the single, "Time To Pretend," which struck millions of chords with millions of people. Good for them, I guess. Listen to "The Youth."

11. The Hold Steady- "Stay Positive"

Craig Finn and company once again deliver a brilliant record. So what if it belongs in a different decade? So what if Finn sings less than stellar? The music is fun. The lyrics are quirky and smart. Mission accomplished. Listen to "Constructive Summer."

10. Ace Enders- "The Secret Wars"

Released free via the Fuse.tv website, this album is a thank you from the former Early November frontman to all the fans who've stuck with him through his constantly changing career. It's catchy. It's upbeat. It's fun. All this from a 26-year old guy who doesn't even wear neon. Crazy. Listen to "Body Like Mind."

9. House Of Heroes- "The End Is Not The End"

Another solid release from the Columbus, Ohio quartet. Much like my pick for number 10, this record is both catchy and fun, and at the same time, not Forever The Sickest Kids. Didn't even know that was possible, did you? Anyways...Yeah. This is a great powerpop record. 14 solid tracks. Listen to "Lose Control."

8. City And Colour- "Bring Me Your Love"

Alexisonfire guitarist and vocalist Dallas Green has soul. Seriously, this guy's got some pipes. If you like your music folky, acoustic, and in general, beautiful, you need to hear this record. Oh, and there's only one song about a girl. So the album's original! Give "Sleeping Sickness" a try.

7. Paper Rival- "Dialog"

Gotta love it when a band releases one of the best albums of the year then calls it quits. (Sarcasm). Regardless, this really is a solid record. I don't really know what to say except that these guys had a really nice, unique sound, and I'm gonna miss them. Listen to "Bluebird."

6. Of Montreal- "Skeletal Lamping"

Sex. This album is about sex. Kevin Barnes (the band's cross dressing frontman) really embraces his alter ego, Georgie Fruit, an African-American she-male, on this album. And it's dirty. And it's fun. And it's funky. I love this band. See them live if at all possible. It's quite the spectacle. Get into "Id Engager." Listen for the line, "Ninjas! Move it!"

5. Panic At The Disco- "Pretty. Odd."

At first, I shunned this album. "They just want to be the Beatles!" I cried. But now, I'm okay with that. After seeing them live on this record cycle, I began to understand the reason for their stylistic change, and I no longer minded it. In fact, I relished in it. I can actually take them seriously as musicians now, without the makeup heavy vaudevillian live show, and all that nonsense. Listen to "Pas De Cheval."

4. Death Cab For Cutie- "Narrow Stairs"

So it's no "Plans." It certainly isn't "Transatlanticism" by any means. Yet still, it is Death Cab, and thus, pretty darn good. Ben Gibbard's written better songs than these, but an DCFC song that's just "alright" trumps "good" songs from most other bands. Ya know? Listen to my favorite track, the Jack Kerouac inspired "Bixby Canyon Bridge."

3. Person L- "Initial"

I think back to the last March when The Starting Line visited St. Louis on their final tour. I was upset. I was sad. Sure, I knew about "that other project Kenny was working on," but I knew it wouldn't be the same. And it isn't. But oh my goodness, is it ever good. The record is really gritty one second, and smooth the next, drawing on influences as contrasting as Drive Like Jehu and James Brown. Listen to "Wooden Soldiers."

2. Forgive Durden- "Razia's Shadow"

After the recording of the band's first album "Wonderland," all but one of the members of Forgive Durden left the band, leaving frontman Thomas Dutton. With the help of his brother Paul and Rudy from Gatsby's American Dream, plus this brilliant rock opera of sorts was created. Did I mention the record features guest appearances from members of Say Anything, The Dear Hunter, The Hush Sound, Panic At The Disco, Saves The Day, The Matches, and The Audition? Well it does, making the album all the more enticing. Listen to "The Exit" featuring Brendon Urie of Panic At The Disco and Dan Young of This Providence.

1. Dear And The Headlights- "Drunk Like Bible Times"

I flat out love this band. I flat out love this record. Seriously, what a great sophomore effort. Brilliant lyricism. Solid hooks. Great musicianship. Impeccable vocals. Just all around great. I listened to this album in the car for a good 3 weeks straight and didn't get the least bit sick of it. Hands down, the best of the year. Check out the first single, "I'm Not Crying. You're Not Crying. Are You?"

And there you have it. My 19 favorite records of the year 2008. Check out the playlist below with all the songs I recommended. I'd appreciate it, and I know the artists would as well. Till next time.

Christopher Michael Tucker

The white snow, the rock show.

I WROTE THE BEGINNING OF THIS BLOG ABOUT 3 WEEKS AGO, DECEMBER 15. AND THEN I FORGOT ABOUT IT.

Today was a snow day. There was very little actual snow. More or less, school was called on account of ice. Which is fine by me. I got to spend some quality time with the missus, and sleep till 1. We might have another day off tomorrow, on account of the supposed 3 inches we're going to get tomorrow morning. It'll be a little iffy though, considering the brunt of the bad weather's supposed to hit during the morning rush, a little while after principals submit their final word on whether or not the school day will take place as scheduled. I won't say anything derogatory about our administration, considering big brother's [(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Brother_(Nineteen_Eighty-Four)] probably reading this right now, but we'll likely have school tomorrow.

A lot of people are upset about the off days, considering it is, in fact, finals week. But personally, I'm not opposed to pushing them back to later this week, or even after break. More time to study, says I. Not that I actually will. But, you never know, I might. Nevertheless, I'm pulling for another relaxing day at home tomorrow.

Wednesday, my mom let me go to a show out of town. Even though I asked her basically at the last minute. It was crazy. Granted, the show was only 2 hours away, in Columbia, but still. That's out of character for her. The show was at the Blue Note, a venue I had visited earlier this year for a Relient K show. This time, the line-up consisted of Scouts, Envy On The Coast, and headliners, Taking Back Sunday.

BACK TO PRESENT TIME.

Anyways, that show was fun. It was my first time seeing Envy On The Coast, and they did not disappoint. Local openers Scouts were decent. TBS was great. Their fans are seriously rabid, though. Twice I've seen them now, and both times, the pits have been more intense than a lot of hardcore shows I go to. Seriously.

Christmas was good. I got a lot of cash, some clothes, and a brand new Casio keyboard, that I've been playing almost non stop when I'm actually at home. I've gone to a lot of our school hockey games lately too, which is actually fun. For a long time, I've been really down on hockey, but going to the games has been a blast.

Ludo's annual Christmas show was on Sunday. It sold out. I wasn't prepared for that. Still, I knew I would get in somehow. Craig's list and Ebay failed me, so the day of the show, Hope and I headed to the Pageant armed with cash and a sign (made by Hope: she's the creative one) reading "We need 2 Ludo tickets." We walked the line for a couple hours in 40 degree weather, finally picking up a pair of tickets, and headed inside.

Unfortunately, the pit was already pretty full, but we pushed our way in anyways. Chicago band "Oh My God" played first. Awful, awful stuff. Local band Building Rome played next. Pretty bad. One of their guitarists actually smashed his guitar at the end, though. Which was dumb. It was a black Gibson SG that probably cost a good 500 bucks at least. Family Force 5 played next. I like those guys, but their show is always the same. And the kids in the pit were being really stupid. This one in particular thought it would be a good idea to jab me in the kidney as he flew into the action. I was already a little ticked to begin with and stupidly, I took a swing at him, aiming for the head. He dodged it, which was probably good, considering I'm not much of a fighter, and I had upset Hope quite a bit by doing this. So I backed off.

Ludo is one of my favorite live bands. Always a blast. A Very Ludo Christmas is always a spectacle, and this year was no different. The only letdowns were the omission of "Saturday Night Thunderbolt" from the set and in general, the nature of the crowd. It was quite evident that many of them had come to hear a single song, "Love Me Dead" after hearing it on local rock station 105.7 The Point. Regardless, the show was good.

Today, my mom is making me mad. That's all she seems to do lately. I don't know if it's just her temperament, the monthly visitor, or something else, but for real, I can't stand it. Luckily, I'm getting out of the house tonight to go catch House Of Heroes at some new club in St. Charles. Should be a fun time. In the ten minutes since I wrote this, things have changed. And I probably can't go. I am pissed. Bye.

Stay tuned for the list of my top albums of the year. I should have it up within the next few days or so.

Christopher Michael Tucker

Vote For Pedro.

Last night, I saw Dave Bazan at The Billiken Club, a cool little venue on the campus of St. Louis University. All their shows are free, too, so that's a plus. I'd seen Bazan, frontman of the now defunct Pedro The Lion, once before, also at SLU, so I had a pretty good idea of what to expect from the evening. In this case, predictability was a good thing.

The folks at the Billiken Club always book great opening bands, and last night was no exception. Via Audio, a charming band from Brooklyn kicked the show off right, with their unique brand of indie pop. I was a tad skeptical when I saw they had a female frontman...er...woman, but this girl, Jessica Martins, turned out to be quite the breath of fresh air. The music was good, and the band was clearly having just as much fun as the hundred or so in the crowd. Needless to say, I enjoyed these guys a bunch. Give them a listen at myspace.com/viaaudio or just go unpause the song at the bottom of this blog.

Dave Bazan followed with the typical Dave Bazan set. That's a good thing, trust me. Bazan does an excellent job of playing tracks from all 3 of his major projects: Pedro, Headphones (his synth based project), as well as his solo work. Also, he works in Q&A sessions in between songs. These can turn into tense political discussions or they can be about things like favorite books or bands. It makes for quite the engaging show.

Midway through his set, Bazan announced that he was in the process of mixing his first full length solo record, and that it should be out soon. Songs from that record made up the majority of his set. He also worked in a song ("Shit Talker") from the Headphones album, and confirmed that there would indeed be another Headphones record. Pedro the Lions songs played include: "Priests And Paramedics", "Options", "Transcontinental", and my favorite "When They Really Get To Know You, They Will Run". Bazan also played covers from Deerhoof and Bob Dylan. A solid set, if I do say so myself.

Christopher Michael Tucker

Refreshing for a journal update.

Last night, the one and only Fall Out Boy played the Creepy Crawl. Love them or hate them, they have had an undeniable impact on the scene today. I guess I shouldn't make them poster boys for the scene. I mean, they aren't going to make an acceptance speech. Ha! Okay, but seriously. The show was fun, and it was a once in a lifetime sort of thing. Here's how things went down.

Hope got called out of school early and picked me as soon as the final bell rang. We ran by the house long enough for me to change into warm clothes, then we took off for downtown, making quick stops for food at Fazoli's and Taco Bell respectively. We got to the venue around 3:30, and met up with a couple friends, Rachel and DJ, who were near the front of the line. Doors were at 6, mind you. The family in the front of the line was rumored to have been there since 8 in the morning...the day before. Insane.

It was chilly, but I had no room to complain, given that the time I had been waiting paled in comparison to some other folks in line. Still, I asked Mike Judy to take into consideration that people were chilly, and told him maybe opening doors early would be nice. He was almost to his car as these words left my mouth. He turned around, walked briskly back over, and said with a smirk, "How long have you been here, Chris Tucker?" To which I replied, "Eh, about 10 minutes." Haha.

Another highlight was the near fight between two moms arguing about cuts in line. This lady (and I use the term loosely) in a pink scarf was unrelenting, and a total you-know-what about a couple kids (one of them being me) getting in line with their friends. It turned into a real shouting match, with her calling out the other mom, as well as Rachel. At one point, "pink scarf" very deliberately bumped into the other mom, and said something like "Well, if you wouldn't be all up on me!" That's when I couldn't take it any more. "WHOA WHOA WHOA," I said, and proceeded to use Rachel to mock pink scarf's ridiculous cowardly violence. Some more things were said ("How old are are you? 26? Well act like it!" and "Get your fat ass back in line!") and finally, old pink scarf retreated. If nothing else, that little quarrel was entertaining.

We went in at 6 as planned and secured a spot a couple rows back of stage right. The opening band was "Just Left," an awful band from Chicago. The lyrics were weak. Their efforts to encourage crowd participation were sad. The lead singer desperately needed to pull up his pants. It was ugly. Finally, they finished, and FOB's roadies started setting up.

The show was flat out fun. Granted, the clandestine clad kiddies got a tad obnoxious at times, and people continually had to be told by FOB bodyguards to "GET OFF THE STAGE!" Not like they could help it, though. At big Creepy shows, the front row always gets knocked forward from pushing. That's just the price you pay when there's no barricade. They played straight on through into the encore. The final song was "Saturday." Toward the end of the song, Pete called for everybody to get on stage. A gutsy move. I mean, little Bronx is only 10 days old now. It'd be a shame for him not to know his daddy. Luckily Pete wasn't killed, or even molested, and for the most part, no one got hurt. I did see some girl get carried off by the venue staff. But in the long run, one casualty isn't too bad.

We walked outside to find it had snowed and the temperature had dipped into the twenties. Roads and windshields were quickly icing over. Our plan was to go to the courtesy diner on Hampton. But unfortunately, Hope's car was nowhere in sight. My first thought was "It's stolen." But then my better judgment (aka Hope) told me it probably got towed. We'd parked on the Creepy's back lot a million times and nothing had ever happened. And we had no idea it was even restricted. But sure enough, upon walking over to the entrance to the lot, there was a sign, mind you, only about the size of a piece of paper: "All unauthorized vehicles will be towed." Crap.

So we hitched a ride back to Hope's from Rachel (Thanks again), and got in her mom's Mustang to head to the lot where the car was being housed...er...carred? Anyways, we got there shortly after 11, but the guy running the place didn't show till 11:30 or so. We got the car back, but were told the towing fee was $150 and the parking ticket would be 50 bucks. Needless to say, that was a pretty horrible end to the day. Regardless, it's a day I won't soon forget. Tomorrow night I'm seeing Dave Bazan of Pedro the Lion fame. Should be swell. I'm going to try to get back in the habit of doing show reviews, so another blog should be up sometime this weekend. Till then. See ya.

Christopher Michael Tucker.

P.S. For the setlist and some pics, check out
http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/atoz/2008/12/review_photos_setlist_fall_out_boy_creepy_crawl_st_louis_december_3_2008_folie_deux_pete_wentz.php

For a few of my pics, visit
http://flickr.com/photos/therealchristucker/