Even though I'm home now, I feel completely homeless.
My future now has a bit of direction. There are quite of few facets of the music industry in which I'm going to attempt to be involved. Actually...I'm already pretty involved. Currently I manage a band that doesn't really do anything, I write for a non existent zine, I'm a part of a do nothing street team for one of the top promoters in St. Louis, I'm the proud part owner of a non existent venue, and if things go well, I'll be helping out with a little label out of St. Louis. Impressed? Thought so.
Alright, so none of this means too much right now. But that doesn't mean I don't want to just quit school right now and start my life. See, when I get passionate about something, I really get passionate. I need that burning desire about something, otherwise nothing seems to get done. Exhibit A: school. Pretty sure I'm passing two or three classes right now. And I don't really attempt to make friends or anything anymore. Not like I'll be talking to these kids after high school. Who cares what they think? This is a very liberating and yet self destructive mentality. Not that I feel like making any effort to change it.
This mentality has also contributed to my non existent relationships with females. I mean, I'm no model, but I know for a fact I've attracted some great girls that I could've very well gone out with, I just didn't want to. I don't want a relationship that's just, "Oh, we're just two kids dating in high school." I want there to be a real connection and actual love (or as close as two high school kids can get) for one other. I don't want to settle. If you read the now infamous(?) Juno blog, you know I want a girlfriend. Just not bad enough to lower my ridiculous standards. As stupid as this sounds, I'm always thinking in the terms of "Would I marry this girl?" And almost always, the answer is an instant no. So I keep searching.
Well that's what's been on my mind as of late. Thanks for reading.
Alright, so none of this means too much right now. But that doesn't mean I don't want to just quit school right now and start my life. See, when I get passionate about something, I really get passionate. I need that burning desire about something, otherwise nothing seems to get done. Exhibit A: school. Pretty sure I'm passing two or three classes right now. And I don't really attempt to make friends or anything anymore. Not like I'll be talking to these kids after high school. Who cares what they think? This is a very liberating and yet self destructive mentality. Not that I feel like making any effort to change it.
This mentality has also contributed to my non existent relationships with females. I mean, I'm no model, but I know for a fact I've attracted some great girls that I could've very well gone out with, I just didn't want to. I don't want a relationship that's just, "Oh, we're just two kids dating in high school." I want there to be a real connection and actual love (or as close as two high school kids can get) for one other. I don't want to settle. If you read the now infamous(?) Juno blog, you know I want a girlfriend. Just not bad enough to lower my ridiculous standards. As stupid as this sounds, I'm always thinking in the terms of "Would I marry this girl?" And almost always, the answer is an instant no. So I keep searching.
Well that's what's been on my mind as of late. Thanks for reading.
posted by CT at
5:32 PM
12 Comments:
stay in school Chris-- it sucks yeah, but get your diploma and then go do all that awesome stuff you want to do
I think you should do what me and brittany are doing.
do college while in highschool..
you can take lots of music classes and stuff for free and earn credits and stuff...
or be homeschooled
you just get some books and read them and stuff and thats all and you can learn at your own pace or whatever... also you can have more time for music stuff...
I have a hefty scheduale, but thats pretty much what i decided. i used to do like nothing for school...
when you are homeschooled passing is just a checkmark by your mom. and your mom doesnt have to "teach" you, contary to popular belief.
Well those are just my suggestions. I dont think i would go well with highschool. i like to be alone, it gives me time to htink and pursue other stuff. [like music!]
anyways... to the dating part. I agree. im not just gonna date to date. i only am interested in dating a person i would want to marry. even then im picky. Though there are two guys who i think would be Godly men that i would consider marrying.
Keep your standards high! dont compromise and sink down to others standards!
im praying for you in all of this!
alexis
youre an awesome dude, chris tucker. i seem to struggle with you on so many levels. and i too, dont want to lower my standards and always consider if marriage would be a possiblity. if not, then its just a waste of our time. this blog describes two people. you. me. even if i dont have that impressive resume you first mentioned.
I agree with April and Ryne, stay in school, dont lower your standards, all that good stuff.
Lower your standards, Chris.
You're expecting a little too much.
haha
First of all, I really like your way of thinking. You seem like a great kid. I always say...when time comes, that person that will rock your world will come around.
and yes i was impressed with all that music stuff. hoping for the best!
oh! I almost forgot..
"Don"t be a fool... stay in school!"
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Poor kid. Spam is disgusting in all forms.
My mom said that the years in high school "are the best days of your life." I'd like to think that's true, but at least it's positive.
recently ive been so incedibly disliking highschool.
i realize now ive been quite cynical.
im trying now to keep positive and always let the joy of the Lord be my strength to get me through!
alexis
'don't be a fool stay in school.'
haaaaah lame. but true. :[
also, take chances. those girls, one of them just might be up to your standards if you get to know them.
if not, keep lookin'.
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