So much feeling.
Yet again, I have missed a show. So I was mad when I missed Sullivan. I like them a lot. But Ben Kweller is an idol to me. He's in the same class with Conor Oberst as far as singer/songwriters. And Kweller's stuff is all so timeless and brilliantly simple. I love it. So missing him is a huge blow. I constantly have a lot of emotions built up inside me, and all it takes is one thing to bring it all to a head. That's what happened tonight. I came to a point where I could've cared less if someone broke into my house and shot me in the head. Except it would hurt. I'd object to that. But otherwise, I'd be totally down for it. Here's crazy ideas that are rattling around in my head.
I want to drop out of high school. I wish I were stupid enough to do it. I want to move out and start writing songs. I want to be on the road for the rest of my life, playing shows a few hundred kids every night. Heck. I'd take 10 kids. I was born to drive around the country playing shows. Homelessness appeals to me. This dream combines my love of music and my tendency to alienate friends after a little while. If I let people in too much, I scare them away. I feel I'm doomed to repeat that the rest of my life. Driving around playing shows, you have dozens of new friends every night. I wouldn't have to let them in, not even a little. The shallow connections every night would be enough for me. I don't care how ridiculous or childish this sounds. I'm more serious about this than I've ever been. After high school, I'm gone.
I don't know how to express myself. Or how to live. I feel like such an ameteur at everything right now. I'm not even reading this over to see what I typed. I'll regret it later. Ben Kweller dropped out of high school. He turned out all right. Living the dream. My dream. Talk to you all soon. Thanks for listening to my immature rambling and not mocking me for it.
Christopher Michael Tucker
Song of the day: "Poison Oak" by Bright Eyes.
I want to drop out of high school. I wish I were stupid enough to do it. I want to move out and start writing songs. I want to be on the road for the rest of my life, playing shows a few hundred kids every night. Heck. I'd take 10 kids. I was born to drive around the country playing shows. Homelessness appeals to me. This dream combines my love of music and my tendency to alienate friends after a little while. If I let people in too much, I scare them away. I feel I'm doomed to repeat that the rest of my life. Driving around playing shows, you have dozens of new friends every night. I wouldn't have to let them in, not even a little. The shallow connections every night would be enough for me. I don't care how ridiculous or childish this sounds. I'm more serious about this than I've ever been. After high school, I'm gone.
I don't know how to express myself. Or how to live. I feel like such an ameteur at everything right now. I'm not even reading this over to see what I typed. I'll regret it later. Ben Kweller dropped out of high school. He turned out all right. Living the dream. My dream. Talk to you all soon. Thanks for listening to my immature rambling and not mocking me for it.
Christopher Michael Tucker
Song of the day: "Poison Oak" by Bright Eyes.
posted by CT at
6:22 PM
5 Comments:
this is my favorite blog ever.
i relate like 98 percent.
and i felt the same way and then after high school completely blanked out and settled into complacency.
dont fall for it.
not caring hurts more than you think.
Yeah,
If I Could Write, Or Sing, Or Play Guitar, I'd Be In The Same Place As You.. Touring Seems Like The Best Thing, For All The Reasons You Already Wrote.. I Don't Like Being Close With People, That's Probably Why I'm On The Internet Or Walking My Dogs Most The Time.. I Don't Trust People.. I Wouldn't Mind Seeing Random People At Shows, But Beyond That, No Thank You.. haha
Chris-- you are emo
and how do you know I'm not mocking you? ;)
sorry you missed another show-- I know how much you hate that
This Is My Favorite Post Ever.
I Can Relate To Almost Everything You Just Said...And Dont Worry, If Y9ou Ever Come To Boston I Would Definitely Be In The Group Of 10 People At Your Show :)
sorry chris. Thats no fun.
You totally sound like this friend of mine that wants to have his own band and travel around. He doesn't like HS either and he doesnt want to go to college. I'll tell you what I told him. I don't think that will make you eternally happy. It will last for a while but then it will get to you. You will feel empty and will feel that something is missing.
It would be terrible if you die. Who will rule J-SNAG? :s
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